But.

Who knew worlds could turn on such words?

One literal syllable that can take a person's entire perception and throw it into a rubix cube chaos. Lives are completely flipped, legacies catapulted, evidences left upside down. One word can do that. When there's "but", then there's more, and often we're left clinging to the edge of our seats, clenching our hands until knuckles throb, frontal lobes straining in panicked electrodes, our future ebbing precariously in what could exit someone's lips in the next few phonemes. There's a but? there's a turn?There's something else?What tip of the scale is it? how desperate are we? Father lost his job, but? The surgery went well, but? I'm in love with you, but? We're not out of the woods yet, but? Hope or terror, grief or joy, pain or healing, what will "but" bring with it?

Flesh has overcome like fire and drowned like water. Failure has left a lingering scent in your clothes and ruffle in your hair. Even your heart can be pricked by mistakes.

But.

"He is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever."

He is the Hope when the situation's hopeless. He's the rescue that comes not a moment too soon. When I take that final breath and begin to collapse into my fate, He is the one who catches me before I hit the ground. He's the knot at the end of my rope, the peroxide to my scrapes, the life support that forces me to keep breathing. When I'm writhing in my own blood, He's the one enticing me to live. He is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

"Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world."

It's not that He protects me from blatant consequences to stupid choices. I'm not sure how to draw out what I'm saying. I fear tripping over the cracks in the road ahead, and I doubt His patience. And yet even when I'm barely tearing away from hands full of stones, He is the motion that prevents them being thrown. I can do nothing on my own, but its ok. My future rides on Him now. I have nothing to trade but surrender, but His offer wasn't meant to be fair.

Today, "but" gathers hope. It gather's trust. It gathers possibilities.